inspiration is everywhere

i guess it is. i believe deep down inside me i have realised about this matter, but i overlooked it too often. i watched some music videos and i felt a strong urge to draw some of the scenes there but i did not lol because i am lazy. but that made me realised again that inspiration is really everywhere. you can easily access it even though it was not planned at all (oh well, that is what inspiration is.)

and cheers! school's finals are finally over and april is drawing near, wow. after april i'll finally welcome may with a burdened heart of course, due to the as level that will officially begin on tuesday haha but mine won't start until wednesday so good luck for those who is taking chemistry! 

today was kinda great? i don't know. just a normal and average day for me but i did live in the moment for a little while. this happened after school which we have just finished our biology practical. i focused and concentrated a little bit too much during the period but i had fun and it was kinda productive for me because i finally understood the topic that has been ignored by me for god knows how long. okay so, after school me and friends just kinda hang for a while in the canteen because we were waiting to be picked up and so we kinda talked for a while. it was trivial and futile but i guess the little things matter to me. at that moment, i felt great. i have friends and all. 

listened to some good songs and did read a bit of biology. and can i say that i am really so not into cooking? i do love eating the food but i really just don't have the energy to clean up my mess lol but that is a part of the routine anyway. just stop complaining sharon. currently listening to current location by lany hehe sick. when will blackpink comeback lol i can't wait for their lit songs. i need some recommendations. 

daily tune; lany - current location

burning midnight oil

i have super heavy and burdensome papers tomorrow (again! when are the tests going to end... istg) which are mathematics and mechanics lol i am into mechanics right now and i cant even do shit. what is this physics and what is this maths. sin cos tan blah blah. send help pls. i am again here to beg for prayers that at least i can do a little bit bettter than last time pleaaaase pray for me. and i was in the middle of studying and then abby from the twitter chatted me via line!! omg totally didn't expect that but it was great to catch up. i consider her as the closest one to me if we are talking from the aspect of anime account. i feel great to see her doing great and honestly i am glad that she still wants to talk to me and initiate a conversation with me even though i barely tweet any shit now omg bless you abby <3 i miss the good old days tbh. everytime you start an account, you will meet lots of people at first and then as time goes by, only few stays and most of your mutuals either convert into a kpop acc or just go on a hiatus and their soul won't ever be seen again. ok enough for now, gotta go back n die n ya idk mechanics bye

so sad, so sad

"when you think you are not alone, you are actually alone." 

i think most of us will realise this at some point of our lives. might sound like jargon, but it's true. 

parents are there for us when we need them, but when you need to get things done, it is still you who will do it. parents are only there to support you. this might sound very contradicting but i am not even bothering to make sense of what i'm saying anymore. i am tired and sad. what goes aroud comes aroud, i guess. commonly people will associate sadness with negativity, i'm quoting something by a character in the book i'll give you the sun that goes something like sadness is essence for artist. i think sadness does really play a role in creating. and writing while you are sad is like, you know. you just dump everything in your brain including the hormones, nerves and everything that cause you to feel sad. human is weird, feelings are weird. sometimes we are thrown up in the sky, experiencing the height, breathing in the atmosphere, filling in our lungs with oxygen. because we are gradually getting higher and higher, the oxygen gets lesser and lesser. hence it is the sign, for us to go down. and suddenly you are just on the ground, without warning. it's perplexing. everything changes within second. turn of tables, change of situation. time does not stop for anyone. who the heck cares if you are sad. you are the one who needs to get up and fight. but for my case, i have this tendency of letting people step on me, trample me over. so, who am i to talk, right?

sometimes, being alone is great. nothing is bothering you, no one will ask you any favor, you are all on your own. it's hard to keep up with people's expectations. i miss being 15. everything was so good back then. 

dragon fruit and enzymes

good evening, today i am here again with you guys which is nobody haha. (just feel like typing lol)

i am here in the midst of wanting to start at my biology homework and i have dragon fruit on a plate beside me hashtag healthy life.

actually i am in the middle of having my finals but i have a holiday for tomorrow because of the election that is going on. i am still thankful for the one day off though. 

this week's nerve-wrecking day is going to be on friday because then i'll have maths and mechanics paper :( i screwed up badly for my last prelims esp mechanics lol no disclosure anyway. i have planned to revise the subjects today but look at me, surfing the web, drifting on the internet, leisurely laid in my bed watching running man with no sense of responsibility hunting me. can i just have a bit of self control. 

i don't know the reason, but today i was really tired. i got home at around 10:30ish and my body felt really heavy, followed by my eyelids. i might be really sleep-deprived. my braces also did things to me last night, as i had just went to the dental. i woke up with pain ahhh. my body passed out for an hour in the bed lol (nap) and i woke up again hungry orz with my teeth, i can barely eat anything. i ate stuff and i felt quite okay for few hours, but then i kinda felt light-headed. shit. 

today's story end here! gotta do my homework now. ciao.

daily tune; iu ft. ohhyuk - can't love you anymore

he and his flower

he wraps his beautiful fingers on the stem, and with his inalienable long eyelashes

that hang firmly on his eyelids, he burns the image of the flower onto his retina.

he admires the flower silently, accompanied by a grin on his face. 

he closes his hazel eyes, grin slowly turns into a smile 

and so the smile disappears. 

he shifts the flower closer to enhance the fragrant of the flower

and at that moment, he swears that the flower is ethereal. 

sports day + birthday party

welcome april! time flies before our eyes without us realising it. 

it is now drizzling. 

yesterday and today ware kinda hectic which is the main reason why my room is in a big mess right now and i don't even bother to tidy them up. 

i had to visit the dental yesterday and i sat in the car for one hour when it was supposed to be approx. 15 mins ride due to the super heavy traffic like damn it lol after that i was late of course and then i needed to go to oliv's house to do some project which i will again continue tomorrow as i have the stuff with me. 

today our school held the sports day which has been delayed since last month (if i'm not wrong) at stadium cendrawasih and i had to run for a relay lol it was all good. we got early dismissal anyway 👅🙌💖 few hours later i had attended the very first sweet seventeenth party in my life ever; 

at first, it wasn't that fun but then the last thing in the list was the dancy thing and i got hyped and yea u know what i'd do. 

srsly i feel the need to update the blog which nobody reads but then a part of me is lazy and very sleepy so i'll just make this short. 

life in a nutshell: i love to sleep.