so sad, so sad

"when you think you are not alone, you are actually alone." 

i think most of us will realise this at some point of our lives. might sound like jargon, but it's true. 

parents are there for us when we need them, but when you need to get things done, it is still you who will do it. parents are only there to support you. this might sound very contradicting but i am not even bothering to make sense of what i'm saying anymore. i am tired and sad. what goes aroud comes aroud, i guess. commonly people will associate sadness with negativity, i'm quoting something by a character in the book i'll give you the sun that goes something like sadness is essence for artist. i think sadness does really play a role in creating. and writing while you are sad is like, you know. you just dump everything in your brain including the hormones, nerves and everything that cause you to feel sad. human is weird, feelings are weird. sometimes we are thrown up in the sky, experiencing the height, breathing in the atmosphere, filling in our lungs with oxygen. because we are gradually getting higher and higher, the oxygen gets lesser and lesser. hence it is the sign, for us to go down. and suddenly you are just on the ground, without warning. it's perplexing. everything changes within second. turn of tables, change of situation. time does not stop for anyone. who the heck cares if you are sad. you are the one who needs to get up and fight. but for my case, i have this tendency of letting people step on me, trample me over. so, who am i to talk, right?

sometimes, being alone is great. nothing is bothering you, no one will ask you any favor, you are all on your own. it's hard to keep up with people's expectations. i miss being 15. everything was so good back then.