because u suck at being a human being. u dont stand up for urself. when u try, u only get stomp and then defeated. i have never felt so disgraced in my whole life. i can only picture the disappointment that my family has towards me if they knew what i have actually done. because i suck at being a human. i am not a bad person but i just suck. i suck. just what more do i have to do. all of this temporary happiness that will cease only to meet with the sufferings and hardships and some shitty treatments that i obviously dont deserve. no. i cant put it like this. i suck at being a human. i suck at being honest with my own feelings. i suck at everything. academics, kindling relationships. sometimes i believe i have everything, i am indeed happy, i am content. but again life always proves me wrong. things will go wrong. i will always be a constant disappointment to myself, because i, cant be honest and i cant confront the enemies, the evil, my own feelings. i suck. i cant do anything but just cry over trivial matters. i want to disappear for while. dont want to die. but just disappear and then come back again. can i do that? no because i suck.
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